4.6 Sita Ram on the way to non-violence
When we hear the word Gandharba, the faces of those playing Sarangi, a traditional music instrument of Nepal similar to violin, come immediately into our mind. Probably because he is a Gandharba, an occupational caste specialised in music, Sita Ram was crazy about singing and dancing.

Songs like "Maachi Kaandai le, Maya Laudaima Chekyo Dadai le" can be heard on the radio all the time. It is Sita Ram, who sang the song. He was born at Bayal Dada-7, Salyan. His childhood was spent in forests instead of schools, since he was born into a Dalit family in a remote hill area. He spent most of his childhood in Rolpa, at his maternal uncle’s home, and was married there, before migrating to Naya Basti, Hapur-7, Dang.

Sita Ram won the hearts of many people in Dang with his singing, and became well known. He won the ‘Third National Dohari Competition’ in 1984, worth Rs 7,000. As the winner, he even had a chance to visit Canada, but being remote from the bureaucrats someone else was sent in his place. Sita Ram, disheartened by the incident left his home and abandoned his singing career to join the Police force, where he worked for 14 years from 1991 to 2005. Softhearted Sita Ram was in turmoil whenever he received orders from his superiors to kill people, but thanks God for never actually having to kill anyone. Benevolent Sita Ram left the service just two years before he became eligible for a pension.

After 14 years in the Police, Sit Ram was still unable to build a house for his family. His friends, who joined the police after him, built houses in towns, but he returned home with only his provident fund. With this money he built a small house at Sundarbasti, Tulsipur-3, where he lives with his wife, three sons and a daughter.

Sita Ram was no longer in his traditional occupation, but when he left his police job he was worried about fending for his family. But he did not give up. He started working as a daily waged labourer. He learned to build houses in a very short time, and now earns Rs 180 per day constructing houses, and this is enough to feed his family.
-
Sita Ram has 62 medals and certificates, awarded to him for his singing, kept safely at his home, but he says, “These things won’t feed me and my family now. People have to accept whatever comes in life.” Sita Ram’s greatest hope is to see stable peace in Nepal. He says all Nepalese should have enough to eat after their hard work, sleep happily and peacefully and live in safety. “Fighting between brothers will yield nothing to anyone.”

4.7. Sabitra’s loyalty
The husband of Sabitra KC was in the police force and during the time of the insurgency she always worried that something might happen to him. She never had a good night’s sleep thinking about her husband’s safety.

"We have enough farm land, leave your job,” she used to tell her husband all the time. In response to her appeals, her husband Tej Bahadur KC left his police job and was living happily with his family in Tarigaun, Dang. Sabitra and their three-year old daughter were very happy to have Tej Bahadur at home.

Tej Bahadur was living apart from his parents, and so there were no family tensions; they had a small and happy family. But the happiness did not last: Maoists murdered Tej Bahadur in broad daylight, on 25 June 2002 when he had gone to his neighbouring village, Bangaun. He could not escape death, despite leaving his job.

Sabitra was widowed, but made up her mind to work hard in life for their daughter. But even this little hope was threatened, when her mother-in-law began torturing her with claims that she caused Tej Bahadur’s death. She even started questioning Sabitra’s chastity and loyalty to her husband, but there was no one to speak for Sabitra in the village.

One afternoon, when Sabitra had gone to bathe, the mother-in-law broke into her house and took away everything she had, including the furniture. When Sabitra inquired about it, the mother-in-law only taunted her. Not able to bear it, Sabitra had to leave the home where she had spent happy days with her husband.

Now she is living with her parents in another village. Her husband’s eight kattha of land lies barren. She has not been able to return to her village to work the land. “What can you do when your own family becomes your enemy?” she asks.