4.2 Chhali’s wish
Chhali Chaudhary’s heart raced faster the morning of 8 April 2002, when she realised that her house at Mojgaun, Manpur-3, was surrounded by soldiers. The security forces shouted, "Is this Raghupati's house?", and received the answer, "Yes sir, I am Raghupati.” "There is a complaint filed against you, we will release you after we have made some inquires.” With these words, the soldiers took Chhali’s husband away.

After that day visiting the local army barracks in Tulsipur to find out about her husband became a routine to Chhali. At the beginning the soldiers asked her to return after a week, then after a month, then next month, and like this they made her visit the barrack for more than one and half years. Chhali’s only wish was to get a glimpse of her husband, and in the hope of seeing him she used to set off to the barracks whenever the soldiers told her to. But the soldiers never kept their word; more than that every time they called her to the barrack promising to let her see her husband, they exploited her physically.

When Chhali’s belly grew with a baby, people in the village spread rumours about her character, but when the villagers knew the truth, they gave her sympathy. But the local people were never able to criticise the soldiers who took advantage of Chhali’s innocence and exploited her: the situation was too sensitive to speak out against them.

Chhali’s fatherless son is a three year old now and she has other two sons under the age of 12. Her only supports now are Raghupati’s elderly parents: Chhali's 70-year-old father-in-law Tulak Ram Chaudhari says, "They must have killed my son, otherwise there would have been some message or information. It is too painful to live remembering him all the time. Our grandchildren and daughter-in-law are the only means I have to survive.”

Memories of her husband trouble Chhali, but her priority is to ease the life of her family. To this end, she is engaged in various activities. The family doesn’t have any property except the house they live in. They cultivate a small parcel of government land and Chhali does domestic work in the village. Following the freeing of the Kamaiya, her eldest son began working as a ploughman while her second son goes to school. “At least one of my sons would be a big and clever man,” Chhali says.

When organisations, including SEED, advocated for her rights Chhali got some relief from her burden. SEED made efforts to provide for her from the relief fund allocated for conflict victims. However, as a result of not having citizenship and for having had a child after the death of her husband, the VDC secretary conjectured that she may have remarried and denied recommending her.

SEED then advocated for Chhali and succeeded in getting both the recommendation for her and her citizenship. Chhali says, "I never knew how important citizenship was: I got Rs 8,000 simply by submitting an application along with a photocopy of my citizenship to the District Development Committee.” With this, Chhali bought some clothes and a pig. With a smiling face she says, “The pig grew big and I slaughtered it and sold the meat; with the money I celebrated Dashain. Now, saving some more money I am planning to buy two baby pigs.”

Chhali's husband Raghupati Chaudhary was a carpenter. Once, a Maoist relative stayed in their residence for one night and the soldiers assumed that Raghu was also a Maoist and arrested him. “I have heard the government provides substantial compensation to the families of those killed by Maoists, but those of us victimised by the government have got nothing. I may get some support in future,” Chhali states her expectation.

Despite receiving no external support, Chhali is confident that she can fend for her family. "Comparable to me,” she says, “Thousands of women have been widowed by the conflict and have become heads of their families. We are the ones who have to look after our kin, if we lose hope, what would happen to them?” Although God has deceived Chhali, she is fighting with her fate for a better future.

NOTE: Her real name is presented here with her consent.